eddieblackmaru

Instead of cheasnuts, this year I feel like I am roasting over the open fire. Work, work, work. Bills, bills, bills. *sighs* I am trying to pay off my credit card...(I will hopefully be done with it by Feb...just in time for student loans to start asking for their moneies) Need a new computer though....*wants mac* *realizes futile dream* *cries* T.T

So Fall is offically here and for once in my life I can sit back and enjoy it. Sure, I have a cast on both legs and can only hobble about, but still. Ok, so really, this is what happened....
I went to a cousin's birthday party at this place, Pump It Up and proceeded to make a complete fool of myself. Slightly jealous at my multiple cousin's laughing, joyous faces, I decided that surely I could play as well. Any lingering doubts about whether or not to play promptly settled as my step-mother whipped off her shoes and challenged me to a race. After shucking my shoes I took my place at the entrance of this enormous inflatable obsictle course. Lots of laughing and fun tumbles landed me at the bottom of this huge 'rock' wall. Upon climbing this 'rock' wall you slide down to the finish line. It was here that things went horribly wrong. I neared the top of this wall (which is really about 9-8 feet tall) and suddenly lost my footing. I blame the socks, really, far too slippery to be allowed, let alone a requirement. Anyway, I bounce off of the wall slightly, just enough to land straight down both of my feet. I crumbled to the ground, amid all the bouncing screaming children. My ankles are almost numb, its super surreal. In fact, I convince myself that yes, the legs are fine, completely fine, look how fine they are, well let me finish the obstacle course to show you!! Yes, I climbed up the wall and slide down to the finish line. I managed to get to my feet and stagger to a bench and attempt to comprehend what the hell just happened. While deep in thought, I ran a systems check on my ankles, rotating them and flexing them. Disturbing popping sounds erupted from ankles and just as quickly as it happened, pain set in. I could not walk. At my cousin's birthday party. I had to crawl to the dining room and beg the attendants for ice. I then had to stay another hour for cake, presents and food. The pain only got worse and finally I was able to leave. Only the family insisted I not crawl out to the car, but use crutches. I have never, EVER, EVER thought walking could be so painful. By the time I gimped to the car, which was about 20 feet away, tears were streaming down my face. And what day do I do this on? But Sunday!!! Great...so the only medical option is the ER. Which we go to, and not only do I not see Noah (from the ER/Liberian) but I then wait. And wait. And wait. Three hours later, we leave, my legs in temporary casts and I am heavily medicated. Monday the temp casts came off and I was given moonboot casts instead. The doc so lovingly told me, walking and pain was the only cure for what I did. Which was bruise my ankle bones as wells sprain/tearing my ligaments. Since Sunday, I have made great progress in walking. I can stand, walk for small distances unaided, and with my moonboots, feel confident to take on the world!! No, that was a joke. So that is what happened to me this week. I would have updated earlier but I was staying at my grandmothers (level home) so no internet. *shudders* five days without the net...god its sad how dependence we are...
so that is it, tomorrow costume time- an excursion!!
nite

oh and I updated my theme, like?

So I have been so wrapped up in work, life and anything remotely like fun has taken quite the shove in the backseat. Life has been downright dull for me- work, sleep, read books, eat, repeat. I'm almost in a sad funk about it. Life seems so depressing. Loans to pay back. An unending desolate calender filled with with work times. And a diet of salads. *sighs* I'm ready to do something. I am ready for a vacation. And wrapped up all around this whining, and it is whining, other people are truly in worse situations then me- and then I begin to berate myself for my selfish, wagamama ways. *double sigh*
*shakes head*
whatever this it is, it will work itself out.
it always does.
ok then,
nite.

So tonight I played the villain. I broke up with my perfectly nice, sweet, boyfriend. I don't feel anything beyond friendship for him and so I just ended it. I tried. I tired for almost five months. And as sweet as he is, I just don't feel a sizzle or a spark. I should feel those things right? And because he is so nice and great, I want him to be with someone who sizzles when he walks into a room. So I bit the bullet and said no more. And god I feel so lousy and horrid because as bad as it was to break it off, I honestly feel a bit relieved that its over and I can stop worrying about it. To do things instead of worrying about if I am failing him or myself for not being a good girlfriend for not being with him all the time. I just...*shakes head* I have never been in a serious relationship before and I don't know...didn't know, what to do. I hate myself for not sizzling. Hate it. Dating sucks everything out of you and it will be a while before I try it again.

After seeing the new Star Trek, I have wandered down the path of K/S. It has always been a pairing I supported, ever since I saw the Nine Inch Nails youtube music video of K/S. I was up until three am, feeding this craze of mine. I wonder if I will ship other pairings once I become more familiar with the characters. I have yet to see the original series, (with a the exception of a few episodes) and so other, more complex character developments are yet to be contended with. Le Sigh. Anyway. On to school. Yay for summer school.

Good Morning.
Its obscene to be up this early, however I never went to bed therefore its fine? OMG logic has left me. See what studying for four finals has done to me? I am hungry and the food place doesn't open until 7!!!! *tummy hurts* Also the coffee has left a funky taste on my tongue.

The wind is especially vicious today. We are under a wind advisory and my house shakes with the howling gusts. Tonight is my first night at work in an actual cafe. (quick update: I am working at Barnes and Noble in the cafe. I am working at the brand-spanking new one at Oak Park Mall, but for training purposes I have to go to Independence tonight) I am VERY nervous. I have a boyfriend (O.o;; I know) and he is also into Japan. In fact he will be studying abroad there come this October- which means I will HAVE to come to Japan soon. Although I am applying for the JET program and hope to be there next summer. We had a anime convention here last weekend and I went, mainly because they had a panel all about Johnny's entertainment. I dragged my boyfriend to it. He has to be educated. I am a little miffed about their choice of the song (and music video) to represent Arashi; they chose Happiness. And although that is a good song, it is, in my opinion, not their best work. And as I thought it might, the Ohnomiya stroking scene sort of freaked him out, I was going to introduce that aspect of Arashi-ness to him SLOWLY. He loved NEWS. Really. He can't remember my favorite band name (OK, I am not being fair, he can remember) but he adores NEWS. They showed Summertime and he ate it up, well, as close as he can get to eating up Japanese Boy Bands. He was also convinced that Aiba was a girl, and this amused me to no end. I then told him all about Aiba (from the Saxophone bit to the I wanna play baseball that is why I joined Johnny's and surprise) and sure his eyes glazed over a tad at the end but he held on like a little trooper. Anyway, I am no longer on Spring Break (I should be in class today but don't feel so hot) and I feel like I didn't get a break at all. I was cheated!! I had to work everyday at the cafe learning the workings of coffee and all that java. Well, I have got to go, my grandma has both food and a heating pad with my name on it and I want to collect. Tell later,
*chu chu*

So much to say! First off, I had a great time in New York. Sure we got on eachother's nerves but hey, its to be expected. J wanted to show us everything in one week and that just isn't physically possible. My feet and legs ached so bad and even now I am feeling a sympathy twinge or two just remembering about it. We saw and not in this order: The Cobert Report, Shrek the Musical, chinatown, wall st., Trinity chruch, SoHo, Greenwich Village, the meat packing district, NBC studios, Nitendo world, Rockefeller center- we went to the Top of the Rock, Central Park- on god the walk, Columbus Circle, a Protest (about Irsel), a demostration (about that prison that Obama is shutting down), the statue of Liberty (which has the tightest security ANYWHERE), went to Brooklyn twice (once to the projects and another to the best pizza place in the five bourghs), the M&M store, the Hershey's store, Yoshinoya, Hard Rock Cafe, Lips (the best drag resturant EVER), and to Karaoke.
Ok, So that is the update on where I went. There is more and when I think of it I can and will let you know.
Right now though, it seems that my Western Civ. II class is starting so, hugs!
Over and Out

My God, its three AM and I am too lazy. I still have yet to completely pack and my flight leaves in seven hours....and I sorta need sleep. But oh, I just am too excited to sleep! That and I have things that aren't moving fast enough....DAMN YOU WALGREENS LOAD MY PICTURES FASTER... *pants* I just don't know what in the world I am doing... I mean I just watched, quite willingly, Riki Tiki Tavi. How many sane people submit themselves to Riki Tiki Tavi? And then I couldn't help myself and watched the other cartoon short, something about a little white seal and its quest for a place without humans who won't bash the baby seals' heads in. Made me feel guilty about being a human, sorta the way I felt super bad about being an American when I visited Hiroshima. Self-inflicted torture. At Three am. Really, what do I do to myself? And to top it all off, I am listening to Bel's THEME SONG from Reborn. I am listening to the crazy little devil USHISHISHISHI in my ear. You blood-thirsty prince, I adore you, you messed up fluffy-headed killer. My feet are cold, I should turn on the heater, I guess. I just placed an order I have to pick it up in three hours...bah. Sleep is over-rated anyway. I just need to let the people who are DRIVING me to the airport to have sleep. I leave at 8. SO FIVE MORE HOURS. *squeek* oh. I guess I forgot to tell you where I was going- New York. You might not know it but I lived in New York summer of 05' in the meat-packing district. I am very excited to go and see most of my darlings, there are a few sweethearts of mine who couldn't make it, I long to embrace you too.
oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR
here's to 2009!!!
Love you all!!!

I know, I know, not an original sounding title, but its pretty self-explanatory eh? Merry Christmas to each of my dear friends, may you eat and be merry wherever you are this holiday season. I wish you happiness and hugs dear things.
Love and hugs!
Weasley and Me <3 you long time

My friend did this 16 things in his note and I felt I got to know him better. Although I won't make anyone do this if they don't want to, I would enjoy hearing 16 things about yourself. I love discovering something new about a friend I didn't know before, be it good or bad. Either way, it means that they love ya enough to share.

1. I am a procrastinator and secretly like the pressure.

2. I enjoy educational games.

3. My room is the happiest place in Kansas and perhaps Missouri too.

4. Going to Japan was the bravest thing I've ever done. It was the best time of my life and I am bitter that it ended.

5. I think that my friends are the most wonderful people in the world and I feel blessed that I have them.

6. I am bad about calling, writing, emailing, and communication in general. Although I seem social I have become somewhat of a recluse.

7. This is my third year at KU and I have never been to a football or basketball game. *ducks head at flying objects*

8. Sometimes little kids know everything and what they say constantly surprises me.

9. I am in love with a Japanese boy band.

10. Japanese is the hardest thing in the world for me and I worry all the time if I will ever catch on.

11. Sometimes I think that I am selfish and petty.

12. I hate the fact that my closest friends are thousands of miles away and are living their lives without me.

13. I wish I knew where we go when we die.

14. My swag is the best swag in the world but I dread the day I move.

15. I an anime fan and Eureka Seven is my Evangelion.

16. "Live and let live" is perhaps the best advice one human can give another and so I give it to you.

It snowed today. It was the first day of real nasty winter weather. My baby cousin Ella is up in town, she is so super cute it is ridiculous. She has our uncle Buddy wrapped around her finger...I mean total worship. We are all so baby-starved that Ella is spoiled rotten. Anyway, on to other things, I am fighting this particularly nasty cold. The doctor said it was pneumonia but I really couldn't and still can't afford to take any sick days. So I have been taking my meds and trying to rest when I can, which isn't much because its the end of the semester. I haven't been able to watch anything, do anything fun for the longest time. I am so tired of school and I can't wait for my vacation. I miss my friends. If its not the distance that keeps them from me, its the school work. And now I must stop procrastinating and do my paper. bah. nite everyone.

It has begun. The slow, trying practice of money-making. Bah.

Anyhow, my mother and I got into a little accident with a deer. At 65 mph. The deer, a buck actually, disappeared. The tow truck man made my mom cry when he told her that often happens, the deer staggers off into the woods after being hit, wounded and bleeding internally, to die alone. She should have been crying over her car, which was almost totaled (they decided last min not to do it which saves her money in the end). We both were completely fine. Not a scratch on either of us. Quite the rude awaking for me though, as I am the sleeping dead before nine on weekdays and 11 on weekends, and this happened around 5:45AM. I need to seriously clean my room but I find I don't really want to. surprise on that. I need to start thinking about Christmas things...for all my friends over the world.

I babysat last night. I created a Neopet with my little tomodachi. He is super smart, but really cunning. He totally has me wrapped around his finger, actually they both do (him and his baby bro). CUTE! I miss my kotatsu still, and I wonder when it snow here. I found candy from Japan in a box this weekend. I am eating it so it won't expire. Taking one for the good of all mankind.

My baby coz got her gallbladder taken out of her on Friday. She is on Vikiden for the pain, you know, the stuff House eats like skittles? Yeah, that stuff. I am going to try and sneak one from her and put in a jar. Just because it might be the only time I come into contact with the stuff. I am weird like that.

hope your weekend was more interesting than mine. wish my darling, perhaps it will come true.

Urgh. I hate tests over things that the teacher doesn't know about. grrrs. All I want to do is just chill out and not worry about what is going to happen in oh, say, a mere twelve hours from now when I am flunking my history exam because the lectures are inconsistent and scattered. So, le sigh, I will now retire and try to go do something.

Oh fugdemonkies. I am sitting here in the bowels of KU's ugliest building, Wescoe. The Underground, a eating place which is half underground and half not, it is built on a slope. They are being misleading. Evil KU henchmen. It is super cold. My two comrades are talking burning and eating the countryside and people because they are dragons. They are trying to convince me that it is on youtube. I am waiting for the line for the crack-asian-yummy food to die down. And I bombed my Japanese test. Thanks people on K10 who crashed and forced me to wander through Eudora and not have any study time. Stupid people, at least smush each other on another highway. One that isn't the lifeline to get to KU. *rages* and so I will go eat to calm my hunger and feed the addictive. Oh Asian-Jump. You make my day.

Argh. I hate it when things I love sell out. Like Captain Tylor or the kotatsu table! I wanted you, damn it, and was going to buy you from beNippon.com!!! I have exciting news,I entered to win (nine times actually) to win a trip for two to JAPAN. And if I win I am buying a freaking Kotatsu. Isn't that so sad?!? All I can think about is if I win this contest I can buy that wonderful little heating table of love and happiness. If I go I will visit all of my tomodachis- you know who you are loves, you know and now LJ knows. But the chances of me winning is slim so I guess I will have to cope with the cold. I had a horrid oral presentation today in Japanese class with my horrid little group members. I feel so very anti-social now. piffle. And cold. CURSES!!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SELL OUT!?!? And so I will try to write my sakubun....yuck and yuck. Love you, all of you


oh, on the plus side, I got the CUTEST pic of my baby coz...eating a pink balloon.

I really want a cool LiveJournal layout. I just looked at RininJapan's layout and I wants. So my goal before the year is up is to get a super cool layout with some super cool mood things instead of the cats, which are cute, but there ARE cooler things out there. *glances at rininJapan's cooler than cats mood things* I am staying in my room today and cleaning. If I can clean up my messy room, I can had a steak dinner on Monday....yummy steak....*drool*.... I don't think I can get enough of steak. I have TONS of stuff in my room. Its supper messy... I don't really know where is the best place to start. I went to Karaoke on Thursday night. Believe it or not, Lawrence (town in Kansas where my university is at) has a karaoke place. But it sucked because they didn't have any Japanese songs that I knew, no Arashi, no Utada Hikaru, no Saiyuki Still Time. So I tried with the Japanese songs that were sung, but pretty much stuck to the English songs that the drunkards chose, like Spice Girls, Bee Gees, and Madonna. Although the best part of the night was that we were Rick Rolled, I guess it was the highlight of the night....after that I found that some asshole had been putting his empty glasses in my purse thinking that my purse was a table?!?! Ice with coke and rum everywhere. Go figure, its too much to be angry at. I guess I should go work on my room, but first, perhaps, I should eat?? Yes, I should eat. And since McDonalds is doing the monopoly thing, I should go there so I can be a millionaire. And when I become a millionaire, by the grace of the grease gods, I will buy a KOTATSU!!!! Searching for a Kotatsu on the net has been really interesting. You know there was a horror movie in Japan called Kotatsu Heater of Hell or something like that? So that whenever I put in "Kotatsu heater Japanese buy" or something like that into a search engine, I get this movie. Which at first was funny, but now it just mocks me. OK, so I should go and eat and clean, so I will and won't surf online. Won't surf...online...
Have a great day you special people who read this, I love you more than you know.

As the world turns and winter comes once again, I find myself missing my Kotatsu so very very badly. Anyone care to send me a Kotatsu?

So, yesterday I poisoned myself. yep. I made pasta and it was not for my tummy. I have school in about eight hours but can't find my bed...i mean, I am in the middle of cleaning and I HATE stopping in the middle of something because I will never start it again. you know that just keeping this journal is very hard for me? And I am working on this mammoth scrapbook, and I mean MAMMOTH. Only about 30 pages in, and I still have about 30 left. Working on March- Lots of things happened in March....X-Japan, Takurazuka, Dad, Amy, E....so much to design and decorate. Then I have the trip to tokyo and the miyazaki museum, THAT page has to be SPECTACULAR. Then T's b-day and Ellen's b-day and my b-day.... and Thailand...oh and the time we went to Fukuyama and the umi....and then Nagasaki and ARASHI CONCERT....Matsuken love page- DMC. Not to mention all of the little things I want to remember- day to day sorts of things. *brain explodes* can't even muster enough power to type in Japanese. nite.

sooo....I just watched the finale of Avatar the last airbender. Yes, I do watch...erm...watched that show. It seems that this was the epic sort of ending i was wanting and yet, I feel so...empty inside. I love it that the ending was everything i ever wanted avatar to be, and yet at the same time the fact that I can't look forward to a new eppie....I get this sad feeling. Although it happens after I finish any series.

今日は下町に行った。　下町の時、友達と会って、昼ごはんを食べて、LOFTに行った。　帰るの時、私は自転車にころんだ。　私の手を切った。　でも、私は大丈夫だ。　小さい傷だから。　私は留学生会館に住んでいる。　　私の部屋は四階があります。　今日はめっちゃ厚いですが、四階の時はすごい疲れた。　寝て、アイスクリームを食べて、AVATARを見た。　お安め。

That was hard. I wanted to say "I fell off my bike" but I think i said, "My bike fell". when my left click starts working again I will fix it. And I am not sure about yonkai- I don't think that kanji is write. i will look it up in the morning. I have to clean because a friend is coming to visit me! Although my room is small, I have had friends stay here before. Times like this make me glad I stole...rescued...that futon. I save lots of things, that the bookshelf, this futon, the oven that was sitting outside the fire escape...although I don't really count that one because the oven didn't work, i call that false adveryising in any language...